Part 1 and today

I don't judge and I don't expected to be judged. I am very open minded and accepting. That is what I am looking for in friends.

Let's begin by saying that the names have not been changed. I don't really care about protecting the innocent because in my opinion they are not innocent.

I was married. For less than a year I was married to my son's father. I thought he was the love of my life. I was 19 when I met him, I didn't know what love was...not sure if I do now. I feel each one of my past relationships, not matter what happened in them made me who I am today, each one is a part of me in some way. This first one gave me my son. For seven years after we separated I had not other man in my life but my son. I took raising him as my number one priority. Now for some of these years, Chris wouldn drift back and forth into my life. I held out hope for a long time. But what I came to realize was that Chris and I have very strong chemistry...not much else. We talk now and I see him as that coward from 11 years ago and he sees me as the kid I was. We don't see each other for who we each are today. I am not sure we would like each other if we met today.

11 years...that is a long long time to have someone in your life...actually all together it is 15 years. I think back at when we met and wonder...I remember him coming back to my house after the first night we spent together...nothing happened..the cat would not let it!! lol

He came back. That is all it took for that LONG chapter of my life to begin. A chapter full of heartache and headaches. But this chapter did bring me my son.

Chris, now is with another woman. A woman that mysteriously appeared right after we split...funny business huh? Did he cheat on me...I don't know. She even tried to tell me herself that they didn't get together until he and I were separated for a while. I know for a fact that he was with me several times when he was seeing her. He always lured me with promises to return to our family. What I sucker Iwas!

At work there is a new guy working with us. I decided instantly I did not like him. He is smug and too sure of himself and worst of all he is a Minion of Raymond. Raymond is our GM and he keeps hiring people he knows. These people feel like they are superior to the rest of us even though most have worked there longer. He has been flirting...I am not sure of his age, I think he told someone he is 20!! Just a boy in my book...but cute. It is quite flattering to have him smile at me. Makes me feel like a school girl. No chance of anything happening with him, but it will make work worthwhile. We stayed and watched a movie tonight, I had my feet up on the chair and he moved them over his....I know silliness...but that is me!!!

We will see how this little fun flirtation progresses. : ) At least it is good for my self esteem.

Hugs and Kisses all....
Just me!

First times

We all have first times. The first time we saw a horror movie. I remember that. My aunt was babysitting us and was going to let us watch the first freddy movie....we only saw about fifteen minutes of it and I had nightmares for two years...now I love horror movies.
Anyways, it is my first time to blog. I don't know if anyone one finds what I say interesting or if it has been done a hundred times..but I have man problems and I need help. Okay one of my favorite shows is tough love and maybe that is what i need to tell me what the hell I have been doing wrong. Ummmm, but I am not willing to go on national tv to figure it out. I am a reader and I have read several books on the subject. Maybe that is my first problem, I look at it with head (brain) point of view and it is my heart we are talking about.

Well I am going to tell you my story...piece by piece. If you find it interesting or it you have an opinion, let me know. I will be as honest and as candid as possible. Tell me what you think; jellybean_brock@yahoo.com.

The first question..are the books right. I have read He is just not into you amoungst others...Left brain or right brain. Should I follow these rules to the letter? Will it work, I have also read " get a man to marry you in three months. Should I follow this one and see if in three months I am married....

Let me tell you about me. I am a single mom, I am 34 years old. Is there still someone out there for me? My son is 13 years old at this point. I have a career, my car is paid off and I rent an apartment. I make okay money. I am not needy (this is a crucial point since one guy in my life says I don't NEED him, he likes needy girls). What the hell I am too good? whatever!

Okay so if you wish to follow I will tell you my story.

Hugs and kisses all....

Just Me!